THIS is the chapter I have been waiting for! Ben and Roz have made the distinction that we need not whitewash, sugar-coat, turn-a-blind-eye or otherwise tinker with reality. As long as we follow up-- once the fury, disappointment or other emotion has abated somewhat-- with the question "What else is here now?" And I have to say it is true that disappointing to tragic events have ultimately led to unexpected blessings. I met my husband working a second job; my ex-husband was having, ahem, difficulty with the concept of child support. Although I will not directly thank my ex for doing what he chose to do, I will generally be thankful (and the rabbi says to be safe always thank God) for the way everything worked out in my life.
So, I will not force myself to become a junior Mrs. Sunshine and Roses, I will however look harder for the positives among the perceived negatives. I love what Ben and Roz say about the pessimists believing in their own fiction, because they focus on a lack, rather than on what IS. I think I get it. Much about life for so many people is unfortunately filled with misery and suffering. But taking stock of what assets and positives exist despite obstacles is the only way to summon the courage to persist.
Resiliency is a word I've been focused on and I've been pondering how to help inspire student to persist despite difficulties. And I think I need to share these ideas with them, so they can choose "positive self-talk" or other strategies. I think I need to expose them to tools for their own resiliency toolbox.
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